... - 2005-01-23
. - 2005-01-23
=( - 2004-05-17
ip - 2004-04-16
berlin - 2004-03-14
2003-11-12 @ 19:07
My mum bought me a new gore tex jacket today. It was on sale, so she only paid about 230 dollar for it. It usually cost about 420 dollar, but I don't know if I'm happy for it. I know, it's a really nice thing to do, but it's just a jacket. My parents always try to buy me with stuff. They have always bought me nice presents since I was a little girl. I was always the girl with the most expensive jeans and shoes, even though I didn't knew it. It's always like this, if we fight they buy me some nice stuff, they can't say I'm sorry. And if I'm mad at my dad he always let me borrow his brand new car or he give me some money or something like that. I don't want his money!!!! I just want a dad.. His never been there, he has always been the guy with a credit card... Blæh
Why can't I get normal parents like everybody else?
____________________________________
Anyway, I just had a huge binge. I don't know what's happening. I lose control all the time. I eat, eat, puke and starve, and I have became this terrible person. Today for example I shattered a mirror because I thought I looked fat in it, and yesterday I had a fight with my mum.
I know I can't keep on doing this. I know I need to change, but no matter what I do, it always fail...
..newest
..older
..rings
..links
>>me
..profile
..fans
..pictures
>>contact
..notes
..guestbook
>>credits
..host
..pixiedesigns
Today I feel:
I wanna have control
I wanna perfect body
I wanna perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
So fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
~Creep - Radiohead~
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